


A cancerous zoo

by Dimple_Swag_Joonie



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Angst, Animal shifter Au, Animals include, Birds, Cat, Comedy, David will always live in my heart, Dog - Freeform, Drinking, Fluff, M/M, Memes, Multi, Others - Freeform, Racoon, Sexy Times, Smutt, Texting, Tyler the douche, WILD cat, hes cool tho, horse, meerkat, monkey - Freeform, non-youtuber au, wolf - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-27
Packaged: 2018-08-28 11:53:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8444806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dimple_Swag_Joonie/pseuds/Dimple_Swag_Joonie
Summary: An animal shifter AU, with college and shit. Join the B.B.S in this! The animals I chose for everyone is my personal opinion.Memes that are staler than my spelling.Heavy petting, and not just for animals.The author is a prick.





	1. David...get out

**Author's Note:**

> Surfs up my dude, woah...

Evan moaned into Jonathan's mouth, the shorter man could always get him needy and moaning like he was in a porno. Not like he'd seen any pornos. Ever. The two boys were too distracted to notice the other boy in the room. The poor guy was trying to talk on the phone, but the constant groans and the oh so manly moans disturbed him. Hell, if he didn't have more important things to do, he'd take pictures and send them around campus.

That'll teach them.

David really did regret looking back at them.

Delirious had his hands on Evans crotch, rubbing like his life depended on it. 

And oh boy, was David pissed.

Jonathan was taking his sweet time in teasing Evan, too bad he didn't see the pillow plummeting towards him and his partner. Daithi let out a cry of victory, as both snoggin' men fell backwards. If Daithi De Stupe was smart, he would've ran, ran like sanic. But, sadly David is not. And only mere seconds later...

A mother fuckin' racoon jumped at him.

When Evan raised his head, rubbing at his sore nose, his eyes fell on a tall man, his roommate Daithi, fighting with a hissing racoon. He smiled fondly until the sound of clothes ripping brought him back to the situation. Instead of a human vs racoon, now there was a squealing critter (If you can call them that), tail in between the jaws of a scruffy looking Irish wolf hound. Evan knew David could cause serious harm. Especially to Delirious, who had clawed him up pretty good.

Evan had to think quick. Luckily for him, David was a dog, and dogs liked humans. Sortof. 

Evan had to leap at the Irish dog, pulling the two squabbiling beasts apart. The dog went down fine, but the angry looking racoon bit Evan quickly, before rushing under a bed, hissing in his retreat. Vanoss wasn't happy. His boyfriend of some sort always rose towards violence, leaving his doggy bestfriend David with a few new scars every once in a blue moon.

He had to console the giant dog, scratching gently behind his ears.

David was a sensitive giant, Jonathan was a violent midget. But deep down - we're talking real deep- Evan knew that they both got along like two owls in a tree. When David calmed down, Evan had no choice but to lift him up, using his fabulous muscles to carry the hound AND open the door. He pushed Nogla out, giving him a sympathetic pat on the head and then closing the dorm room door.

Evan had to use a packet of David's dog biscuits to lure Delirious out. 

The second Jonathan was out, Evan grabbed him. He needed to teach this little shit a lesson. Evan had remembered the sneaky bite, Jon had quite the temper. He bopped Jonathan on the nose, only to be spat at and finger swipped at. Evan tutted softly, opening the door. Thankfully Nogla left, or there would be more bloodshed on campus.

When Evan released Delirious, he had seconds to turn back and lock the door. He let out a snicker, Jonathan was wailing outside, giving the door scratches.

Evan flopped onto his own bed. He'll find David later.

Its not like he's a lost dog or something. Plus, he'd have to come back here, or risk being nude out in public.

Not that Nogla would care. He walks around campus without pants most of the time.

Evan fell into a deep sleep, tired from his friends fight. Well. They are animals.

\-------

 

Ryan growled. Like, really GROWLED. Bryce had taken his bunny hoodie without his permission. Again.

Ryan paced up and down the shower room. He was a brown wolf, and he hated that. The hot steam coming from several showers puffed his fur up, and passing people laughed at him, Ryan didn't want look in the mirror. He knew he probably looked like a poop poodle, and if Tyler was here, he'd be having a field day with this.

A deep, derpy laugh rang through the showers.

Speak of the devil.

Ryan had to get out quick. When he was in wolf form, Tyler couldn't help but hiss at him, natural reaction to the big stinking cat. They didn't want to fight, but when history has to repeat itself, it never ends pretty. Heck if ever will end pretty.

When Ryan deemed it safe to exit the empty shower, his poor paws lost grip and gave up underneath him. A dull thud could be heard, and it didn't sound like shower sex.

Bryce was enjoying the shower too much. He wasn't masturbating, as much as he would like to, but he was using Ohm's body wash. It smelt like his soulmate but tasted horrible. Thats how you know you're getting too carried away.

When Bryce was finished, he was humming a soft tune, wrapping the soft blanket around his waist. The air was soothing to his pale blushed skin. Bryce slipped the hoodie on. He knew Ohm was going to be mad, but who could stay mad at Bryces' slightly fake pout. 

Little did he know at that very moment, he fucked up.

The ball of poofy brown fur knocked him down.

"Crap".


	2. Part two of one...what.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second part of the first. Enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My phone was playing up. I wanted to do over 1,000 words, but it stuck.

Ohm was a heavy guy, because of his muscles. Bryce thought he was even worse in slightly-adorable-from-afar-but-as-you get closer-you-realize-crap! wolf form. 

Bryce being Bryce, let out a girlish yell. His warm toasty nips were touching the cold floor, where random strangers walked and pissed on.

Oh yeah, no biggie.

Ryan had to shift back to scold the struggling boy, never mind being nude. Bryce would just ignore him and whine about the dirty floor. And how he didn't deserve this.

Ryan wasn't going to fall for it. 

His oh so innocent angel had to be taught not to take his others things, no matter how much he pouted and bribed him. And believe him, Bryce knew how to bargain his ass out of trouble.

Everyone knew Bryce could be as sweet as pie, but as evil as 2Pacs murderer. Fuck that guy.

Ohm had been spacing out.

Bryce had also been spacing out.

Both for different reasons.

Bryce, the sneakiest tall person to ever live, decided it would be smart to wiggle out from underneath a day dreaming hunky mad person who quite frankly wanted to slap Bryces' arse for being a dick. That would certainly spice up their sex life. If they had one to begin with. I mean AHEM.

Ohm had felt the vibrations before he saw them. He had to remind himself that he was sitting naked on his not-so happy other. Lets not forget that they're in public, and if the other half of the prick squad showed up, he was pretty sure it would end in an orgy. And Luke would be singing. Ohm didn't need that pain for the moment.

He needed to get Bryce back to the dormitory. Pronto.

Number uno failed. Bryce internally sighed and facepalmed himself. He knew, just knew, that Ryan wanted them in private. 

As funny as it would seem to let Ryan run around the halls in his birthday suit, Bryce only wanted to see that in the comfort of bed and bathroom.

Yeah they shower together, so what?

"RyRy, get off and get yourself decent".

"Fat chance 'Bryceypoo' I know you'll knee me where the sun shines and jesus says hey watsup?".

"RYANNN GET OFF YOU FAT RABBIT!"

"Eh fine Bry".

"I swear t-".

Bryce was muffled by Ohm's soft lips pressing onto his own.

It felt right. Like soulmates were real and Bryce hit the jackpot, Ryan was handsom and could figure Bryce out just like 'that'. Plus the rough sex was great. 

A bark echoed through the shower room, causing them both to look up.

Of course Nogla would turn up and ruin the sweet loving moment. Stupid dog.

Bryce giggled at the Irishman, or dog. Ohm was getting frustratingly inpatient, he wanted, no, needed to talk to the cheeky flushed pink boy who was making cat noices at Daithi. His facial features had relaxed, a lazy smile replacing the usual killer grin.

Dammit!

Bryce's innocence always threw him off. He was here to teach the younger a lesson. But as per usual, he got distracted.

Ohm had to be very sneaky. Verrrry sneaky. He slowly sat up from Bryce who had called over the scruffy dog, giggling further and giving him good belly rubs, according to the blissful look on the doggy face. Ohm had seconds to grab a nearby towel and cover his impressive lower torso. At least he thought so.

By the time Bryce realized Ohm was off him, he was being lifted up roughly, Nogla growling before running out. Probably to Lui.

Ohm had a tight grip on Bryce as he confidently strolled out of the loud room into the quieter halls.

He passed Tyler and Craig who were arguing about pokémon, again. Both couples said a quick hi and Bryce promised Craig that they'll talk later.

Unless Craig was being fucked into the wall. 

Ohm and Bryce had both witnessed that a few too many times.

When Bryce closed his eyes, he felt the movement stop. He heard the deep breathing of Ryan. Then he felt his breath in his ear, tickling him slightly.

"You are so beautiful Bry...You're almost like an angel".

"..."

"And no, I haven't forgotten about you stealing my hoodie..".

"Awh c'mon Ohmy...".

Ryan resumed walking, passing all of his friends rooms.

When he reached his & Bryces' door, he had to reach into the hoodie pocket, resting his hand on the taller mans stomach for far too long.

When he had finally opened the door, Bryce let out his 'nervous' giggle. He had every right to be nervous. Ohm had recognized the high pitched noice. He mentally high-fived himself. Breaking Bryce was always fun, because the boy let him, he knew Ohm wouldn't go too far.

Ryan threw Bryce onto his bed. He would throw him onto his own while he shut the door but Bryce had a clean bed, and Ohm was only going to wreck one of them tonight.

Ohm slammed the door shut, pouncing on his lover with enthusiasm. Bryce would be so sore tomorrow.

When Ohm turned around, Bryce was smirking at him like satan had told a joke and got no laughs so he stropped off.

Ohm returned it with more anger. Bryce had momentarily forgotten how to breathe, his pink tongue darting out to lick his drying lips.

Let the games begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment what you think. Or how I can improve. Also update my memealouge.


	3. Scotty you piece of shit.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marcel is lazy. Scotty was high. Toothbrush missing. It's just college.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was re-reading my shit posting and I laughed at this so I wanna continue as a side.

Marcel just wanted some sleep. The party was crazy and some drunk girl shifted into a kangaroo and broke many vases she did mrm. Marcel was too hungover for this.

The room was still dark but he could sense the movement in front of him. 

There was a lot of cussing and high pitched laughing, his roomate and bestfriend was clearly high off his balls. Marcel just let out a quiet "Scotti' you peish ov shizzz..." His roomate was too out of it to understand the incoherent mumble and just went on stumbling.

When Marcel finally woke, which was six hours later, his room was unusually quiet. Too quiet.

Normally Scotty would be on his laptop blasting some crap music.

All he heard was the occasional patter of footsteps or wings flapping out in the hallway.

Marcel had trouble getting out of bed, his legs were tangled up and his arms were inside his pillow case. He rubbed his eyes tiredly and let out an over exhausted yawn. When Marcel went to grab his toothbrush in his draw, which might he add, was open, he was surprised and pissed to find it missing.

Marcel always closes his draw. If it had been open, then Scotty had been snooping around. Marcel remembered the first time he caught him sticking his nose into his personal things.

He had been drunk and was looking for a condom, gesturing at an invisible person. Sure, Marcel knew Scotty was just plain poking around.

Scotty had plenty of condoms in his, open and messy draw.

Marcel couldn't be arsed to change into clean clothes, so he grabbed sweats and an old tee which he was sure was Scotty's.

Karmas a bitch. Marcel was sure he'd spill everything on the light gray sonic tee-shirt. 

Leaving the room was too much effort. The lights hurt him and passerby by passerby snickered at the confused and grumpy man.

Marcel did his best to give a snarky reply to all the 'Bad day?' comments. The man only just woke up, for crying out loud.

When he reached the lounge for Revioli dorms, he heard the familiar laugh which was his son-ofa-bitch bestfriend who he'd kick back to his mom.

He stopped. Who knew where he put his toothbrush? He could name two holes which were highly inappropriate. 

Back to confronting his enemy for now.

When Marcel stormed in, he was confused to see Scotty trying to light his toothbrush with a babydoll lighter. That piece of shit.

Marcel threw a book at him. It was convenient that the book shelf was next to the door.

Wow. For a high man, he was still agile, giving him a half assed smile. Scotty always looked like he was having the best time of his life but was slowly dying on the inside. Oh wait! That's exactly whats happening. 

Stupid skunk. Literally.

Before Marcel could shout at the lost in the head man-child (FOR YOUR INFO, WHEN I SAY LOST IN THE HEAD, I MENT CONFUSED AND HIGH...GEDDIT??!), said person had thrown the lighter at him, thunking against his right shoulder. It actually hurt.

"SCOTTY YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

"I gave you your fuckin' toothbrush back you prick, turns out it doesn't light...who knew?".

"YOU THREW A LIGHTER AT ME, AND IT HURTS, SCOTTY YOU BASTARD!!".

"woah, is it just me or did god just...?"

"FFFFFFFFFF-- YOU TURD, I'LL KILL YOU!".

Apparently Scott didn't get the memo. He was still giggly and high of his balls when Marcel approached him, a very nasy glare in his eyes. He was almost dissatisfied to see no reaction, but he sure as hell will get one. This one goes out to everyone who's ever been hit with a lighter.

"SUDOUKO CHOP!"

He wasn't high enough not to feel pain. Marcel brought his hand down in a karate chop to Scotts' dick. Hard.

Smug as fuck, Marcel patted his head and laughed. His bestfriend was gasping and tears were forming in his eyes, Marcel hit the man where he was weak. Literally. And to add insult to injury, he felt two hard punches in his left arm. "Two for flinching bitch!"

"I-i fucking hate you Marshmellow...asshole."

"Serves you right."

"BUT YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO HURT MY PRIZED JEWELS!"

He did. Sadly Marcel had encountered situations like this before, many having trouble pissing for weeks after he was through with them.

It wasn't gay right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nom nom nom. BasicallyIDo407.

**Author's Note:**

> Aight. I still stand by what I said, author needs to stop with the memes. Lui would be so proud.


End file.
